


Lover's Lounge

by ilmv



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sex Shop, Awkwardness, Humor, Masturbation, Other, POV Male Character, Porn Watching, Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 07:03:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2015583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilmv/pseuds/ilmv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward Cullen wants to perfect the art of gentle lovemaking before attempting anything on Bella, so he takes a trip to a sex shop to pick up some educational materials... Rated M. Twilight & characters are copyrighted by Stephenie Meyer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lover's Lounge

I timidly walk up to the seedy looking storefront, my hands in my pockets and eyes glued to the ground. I reach out to open the door when it suddenly pushes open with a rattle and a 'ding' before I could touch it. An older man clutching a large brown paper bag full of recently purchased wares scurries past, giving me a shifty-eyed glance. "Oh, pardon me," I say politely as we both dart out of one another's way.

I catch the door and step inside Lover's Lounge - an alien world, a world full of lingerie, vibrators, leather, dildoes, buttplugs, inflatable dolls and porn - rows and rows of porn. Porn is stacked to the ceiling, every kind of porn you could imagine- and some you couldn't. I look around, wide-eyed and nervous, unsure if I would even find what I was looking for. 'Private booths: 1$ per half hour' read a sign. People watch porn here? How disgusting! This place must be a breeding ground for bacteria. Thank god I brought my hand sanitizer with me. The cashier, an attractive girl around 20, looks up intermittently from the issue of Cosmo she is thumbing through, eyeing me up and down. I walk over to the 'hetero' section of the DVDs, scanning the covers and titles. Such smut! It makes me uncomfortable.. and a little aroused. Of course we had our naughty photographs and films back in my day, but my parents were careful to shield my innocent young eyes from such things. Curiosity rarely got the better of me in those days, though I did have friends who oggled such images from time to time...

If nothing else the goods in this shop are well organized. The cashier creeps up beside me to offer assistance. "Can I help you find something, sir?" she asks with a smile. "Um, I'm not sure.." I reply. "I'm looking for something instructional, for me and my girlfriend." The girl seems surprised. _Aw.. too bad he has a girlfriend. Thi_ _s guy needs help?_ she thinks, twirling a lock of strawberry blonde hair & eyeing my crotch for a split second. _He sure doesn't look like it._ Oh boy, this is going to be awkward. "Oh, well we have some kama sutra stuff over here, some 'how to please your woman' type stuff... but mostly on oral techniques," she say. Kama sutra? Well, I'd already read it in the original Sanskrit. That might be too advanced for my Bella. I don't think she would be up to the challenge and it might be dangerous with all that bending. "Thank you, I'll have a look at those, the, um, 'how to please your woman' ones.." I say quietly. I look around, hoping none of the other customers heard any part of our conversation. I try desperately to close off the thoughts of the handful of perverts wandering around the store but can't help but be bombarded with a series of disturbing images involving a man and an inflatable sheep. Yikes.

I look through the DVDs suggested by the clerk, careful not to touch them too much- who knows who had their hands all over them.. blechh.. One is called 'How to Make Her Cum.' While the title is vulgar, it seems like it might be helpful. "Would you like to preview some of these?" the clerk asks. "We have private booths available, if you'd like to make sure it's what you need." Ugh, watching porn in a public place? Gross. But I don't want to buy a bunch of useless DVDs. I need to know if this will help me make love to Bella in a safe way, a way that won't hurt her or risk her life. "Um, ok. Sure," I say, and the clerk leads me to the private area behind a dingy curtain. I sit inside the private booth, and put the first DVD inside the DVD player and press Play. "Let me know if you need any help," she says with a wink and leaves. Good god. I decide I'm not even going to bother closing and locking the door to my booth because I'm just looking to see if these are useful. Unlike the rest of the perverts in this shop I'm NOT here to do sick perverted things to myself.

The DVD is professionally produced and has a chapter menu. I'm mostly interested in intercourse techniques, so I select that and have a look. There is soft romantic music and mood lighting, an attractive couple sits naked on a bed with white satin sheets, surrounded by candles and red roses in a room made of red curtains. They are staring lovingly at one another. Ah, how romantic! This is nice, I can easily imagine Bella and I in such a place. Then a gross looking old man walks into the frame, says his name is Ron something and he's going to teach this guy 'how to fuck like a champ.' Ugh.. gross! I really don't want to see this guy naked. The moment that thought crosses my mind, he takes off his robe and he has the biggest dick I've ever seen! His dick is bigger than my own and that's saying something. Good lord. It's disgusting but I can't look away! He has the woman bent over on the edge of the bed and the other guy is watching what he's doing. He goes behind her and penetrates her and she is moaning and screaming because his dick is giant and.. ok.. this is not what I want.

I took the DVD out of the player and switched it with the next one. This one is about oral techniques. Perhaps that's what I need to do with Bella. It might be safer if we forgo intercourse altogether and focus on pleasuring one another in other ways. I press Play on the DVD remote. This one starts out with 2 gorgeous looking young women on a sofa, a blonde and a brunette, stripping off one another's clothing and kissing. Ohhhh... um, ok it's getting hot in here. I poke my head out of the booth and check to see if the clerk is anywhere near. No, she's gone back to reading her magazine. Good. I close the door and lock it. I wish I had some Windex with me or some Pine-Sol to give this booth a good scrub down, who knows what sort of germs lurk in every crevice..

Speaking of crevices, the blond has spread open the brunette's legs and is kissing her thighs, working her way up to... oh my... I need to focus, but this is making me way too horny. I've never seen anything like this before! Why am I so turned on by this? Clearly these 2 women do not care for men, but it was so arousing! The brunette is completely shaved down there. I could see everything. That must be the style now, I guess. I wonder if Bella shaves? I wonder how Bella looks down there.. uhhhh.. I start thinking about Bella's special area and become very aroused by what I was seeing and thinking. Before too long my dick is rock solid and ready to rip through my pants. I undo my pants, careful not to touch too much of the seat and start lightly rubbing my dick. The blonde girl was now showing some oral techniques, zig zagging her tongue all over her partner's vagina, making her moan. Wow! I watch her movements and memorize them. I only hoped to be able to get Bella to respond like that. Mmm.. Bella. I wonder how she tastes? I tighten the grip around my dick at the thought. Uhh... What the hell is wrong with me? I never thought I would ever visit a place like this, much less pleasure myself in this den of perversion! But there I was... oh fuck this is good. The blonde girl reaches up, still licking her lady friend's vagina, and plays with the brunette's breasts making her nipples hard. I memorize this move, too. How I'd love to gently squeeze and caress Bella's breasts and tease her nipples. I've noticed them poking through her shirt a few times when it's cold and she isn't wearing a bra.. Mmmm.. I wonder if Bella's nipples get hard easily? My hands are pretty cold, I wouldn't want to cause her any discomfort. Just then there's a knock at the door. "Hello?" the cashier said. "Are you ok in there? Are you sure you wouldn't like any _help_?" Oh jeez! Is this really happening? "No, thank you!," I say forcefully, hoping she gets the message. Not that I wouldn't _like_ the clerk to 'help' me, but I couldn't do that to Bella. I couldn't live with the guilt! And who knows where this sex shop cashier has been... bleh..

Oh, Bella. What would she think if she could see me right now? What would she say if she saw me with my hand down my pants, oggling these 2 shameless harlots? My heart- whatever is left of it- became heavy with guilt. I should leave. I'll just purchase these DVD's and watch them at home, or finish what I was doing in the car maybe. Maybe they have some other ones like this, some non-instructional ones. I should pick up some things Bella would like while I'm here. I tried to calm my dick down by thinking of random, unsexy things. Baseball. Emmett's toenails. The lunch lady at school. Ah, much better. I washed my hands with my hand sanitzer, picked up my selection of DVDs and exited the booth, only to find the pretty cashier waiting just outside. "Did you find what you were looking for?" she asked with a smirk. "Yes, thank you for all your help," I said politely. "Um, could you show me where I might find something else like this one?" I said showing her the DVD with the 2 girls on it. "Oh, sure. We have a lot of girl-on-girl stuff," she said, leading me toward the appropriate section. "Thanks," I said.

"Oh, um, I wanted to pick up something for my girlfriend, as a gift or something. But I'm not sure what to get her..." I said, hoping she could help give a woman's perspective. The clerk smiled. "Maybe some lingerie? Or a vibrator? A dildo maybe?" A dildo? Would Bella like to stick some hunk of rubber up herself? I wonder if she had a vibrator. I never thought to ask if she was even interested in such things. Surely she wouldn't be. She couldn't be! My dear, sweet, innocent Bella... did she.. touch herself? And yet I couldn't be too sure. "Oh, ok. Could you help me pick something out?" I ask. I'm glad I can't blush because I would be bright red. I look at the girl-on-girl DVD's and find a few starring the same girls in the instructional video and grab them off the shelf, adding them to the small stack of smut I was already carrying. Why not? I'm going to hell anyway, I might as well do so thoroughly.

The cashier leads me to the ladies' sex toys section. Every sort of vibrating, battery operated contraption is represented along with a huge collection of HUGE rubber falluses in every color of the rainbow. "Do you have something a little bit.. gentle? Not too extreme? I don't want my girlfriend to get hurt," I say. The clerk laughs. "These won't hurt her," she says, picking up a 14-inch black rubber dildo from the shelf, and waving it in my face. I back away before it could slap me in the nose or poke my eye out. "But if you think she'd prefer to start with something a little smaller, we have this one.." she picks up a slightly smaller dildo from the bottom shelf, and to my surprise it sparkled. It is about 8 inches long and had glitter on it! I smile to myself knowingly. "Yes, that is perfect. I think she would like it." The clerk smiles. "It's so cute, isn't it? It sparkles like a fairy!" she says. I frown a bit. Hey, I'm no fairy! The clerk gives me a strange look & hands me the sparkly dildo, adding to the pile.

"As for vibrators," the clerk giggles excitedly, "We have these eggs which have 8 different settings. They only require one battery, and I can tell you from experience she would love to have one of these!" Um, ok, too much information there, lady. I'm already a little excited, I don't need to be thinking about you sticking this little Tamogatchi thing down there right now. "Ok, uh... give me 3 of those," I say nervously, "I'm not sure which color she'd like so give me a pink, blue and a purple. I think those are her favorite colors." How did I not know what Bella's favorite color was! I'm preparing to make love to her and I didn't even know this basic fact. The clerk hands me 3 packages of the vibrating eggs. "Would you like a basket for all that stuff?" she asks. I have no problem using my super-dexterity to carry all of this stuff so I shake my head 'No.'

"So, lingerie.. was that on your list? Would you like me to show you some?" she asks seductively. _I'd love to show him some,_ she thinks, _slip out of these jeans and put on a little show. I bet he'd like that._ What? Dear lord, I'm here buying stuff for my girlfriend! This girl could not take a hint! "No, I think I'll save that for next time," I say curtly. Am I really planning on coming back to this place? This whole experience has been so awkward. I could never show my face here again! We walk toward the counter at the front of the store and I sensed she was going to ask me something so I said "I think I have everything I need at the moment." She turns to a small table full of lotions or something and says, "Well, we have a buy-one-get-one special on flavored lube if you're interested." Flavored lube? It wouldn't taste very good to me, Bella herself would taste much better. But maybe Bella would like to use some on me.. ohh dear I shouldn't start thinking about that... I put my free hand in my pocket to hide my unexpected boner. "Um, sure, why not.. I'll take some of this strawberry... lube stuff." She takes my items from me and rings them up. 10 DVD's, 2 bottles of lube, a dildo, 3 vibrating eggs... "That will be $330.35," she says.

I hand her the money and just then the door opens with a ding. "Hey! What are you doing here, bro?" says Emmett. OH NO! What is **he** doing here? I'm mortified! The cashier is placing my items into a brown paper bag and I hope Emmett doesn't see anything that I was buying. "Whoa! You're buying lesbo porn?" Emmett says loudly. "SHHHhhh! Shut up! The whole store can hear you," I say. "What are you doing here, Emmett? What could you possibly need in a place like this?" Emmett laughs, "Rosalie wants some things, some-" I cover my ears. "Blah, blah, blah!" I shout, "I can't hear you Emmett! I don't want to know about that!" Emmett laughs even louder. "OK, bro. Hey, I won't tell Jazz about this. It will be our little secret, alright bro?" I know that isn't true. Emmett would tell everyone in the house he saw me at a porn shop. He would detail all my purchases to Alice and the whole family would know what a weird pervert I am! "Sure," I say, taking my purchases from the counter. "I bet you won't. You'll probably text them all as soon as I leave!" The cashier giggles. "I'm sorry my brother and I are causing a scene here, Miss. Have a nice day," I say, leaving her a $50 tip, hoping it makes up for our disturbance. "Oh, thanks! Come back soon, Mr..?" she asks. I hesitated to give her my name. I didn't want her to know my name. "His name is Edward," says Emmett. Great! Thanks a lot! I glared at my brother. "Nice to meet you, Edward. Come back real soon," the clerk winks at me. Ughhh... I take my brown paper bag full of smut and sex toys and walk out of the shop, hoping never to go back inside again. As I walk out the door I hear Emmett burst out laughing.


End file.
